"would you watch my stuff for me"

i love being asked to watch someone's stuff. let me clarify: when i am in the library, coffee shop, or the like and the room is crowded, i love being singled out and asked, "would you watch my stuff?". i feel like i beat out so many other candidates--the girl reading a magazine, the older man on the conference call, the mother and child. this is my lottery winning feeling or how someone would feel if bob barker said "come on downnnnnn". it's then that i am granted with some great responsibility. yes. i will be the keeper of your things until you return from: going to the bathroom, getting more coffee, feeding the meter, picking your nose in the bathroom, etc.

i try not to take the request so literally. yes, i make sure to pay more attention to someone's belongings, but i don't sit there staring at them. i like to glance over every few seconds just to make sure everything is there. i don't know what i would do if another person tried to steal the "stuff" (computer, cell phone, notebooks, backpack). i've never really thought about my action plan. i hope i would say something like "hey! what are you doing?" and the thief would run away like a startled pigeon. but, to continue with the bird analogy, what if they were like a crow. what if they kept milling about and perusing through this person's notebook from accounting 203 and unhooking their macbook from the outlet?

let's hope it never happens. perhaps this isn't such an honor after all. now as i watch this young man's stuff (haha, that's what she said) i am filled with panic. please let no one else come near me in the library. where is this guy? what book could he possibly be looking for that is taking this long? phew. he has returned. i am no longer the keeper of the stuff.

oh, in case you were curious, i do not watch other people's stuff at the airport. i'm too terrified that i'll end up on "Locked Up: Abroad" and i'll be sitting there telling this reporter that i had no idea the duffle bag contained four kilos of cocaine and the remains of a well-known drug dealer. honestly, i had no idea.

out with a bang!

whenever i think of someone quitting with style--leaving quite the last impression (good or bad) i always think of seinfeld's george costanza. he truly had a knack for quitting/getting fired. i admired his cajones as i don't have quite the courage to do the same (despite how badly i've wanted to--yes former rec center employer, i'm talking about you).

i will divulge what i've done for some office revenge, but let's take a look at some of my favorite things (if you're not into this type of humor...i feel sorry for you.):

• the e-mail blast/public proclamation-here are two wonderful examples. the first is a series of pictures in which the disgruntled employee is writing on a dry erase board. check out her story here. it's a bit lengthy, but worth reading. my second example comes from an employee where i used to work. i don't feel comfortable quoting the document (really because i should not have it in my possession. but boy am i happy i do! i'm contemplating framing it) but overall it discusses specific problems and examples with a supervisor. oh, who was it sent to? the entire full-time staff, student managers and the rest of the staff that this supervisor is in charge of.

this tactic comes with its limitations--you lack control in how the rest of the situation is handled. in the latter example, this was swept under the rug and the author of the document was treated as if they were insane and all these issues were part of a large conspiracy. despite how unprofessional something like this may be, i believe it takes this sort of fire power to try and bring attention to a situation. i've done it and it felt great--although some of the people who said, "i'll stand by you. i'll back you up." were nowhere to be found (i'd like to give a big f-you to some of my former co-workers--spineless scum. i hope that recommendation you get from our half-brain supervisor serves you well in the unemployment office. have you found your way there? or is your head still up her ass?) that felt good.

• the truth telling- this is where george costanza really shines. another example is the real-life demonstration of a jet-blue flight attendant, again, so good. i think taking a beer with was a great idea! now my last example doesn't really apply to quitting/getting fired, but it still could be used in this situation. as a former-RA, i always wished i had done this to my least favorite residents. i think some of my first floor boys may have done this. on nbc's the office, someone leaves a "package" in michael's office--ya know, number 2.

okay i know that's gross, but if you're never coming back to the office, treat yourself to some taco bell, white castle, whatever churns your stomach and have a go (pun intended).

please let me know what you or someone else has been done to quit in style/get fired. i'm always looking for inspiration.

crossword puzzles

i have found a new passion for crossword puzzles. last week m and i finished one together and since then we've been doing them online and recently began racing with each other. we're still figuring out the rules since we don't have time to sit with each other for an hour or so and complete the puzzles. just when i think we might have something interesting that we do, i see it written and realize how mundane our activities are. i think i'm okay with that.

while i sit in the library making use of the weak, albeit much needed WiFi, let's talk about food. i'll have to add the pictures later since i don't have my camera with me.

pulled pork--the easiest thing i've ever made. i am a big fan of all thinks pig. i am strongly considering getting a picture of bacon tattooed on myself. what's stopping me? i've seen too many "dudes" with it and i haven't been able to find an image that really does it justice. back to pulled pork--i bought about three pounds of pork shoulder, salt and peppered it, and put it in the crock pot on high with about 3/4 of it sitting in water. the pork will be tender enough to pull it apart easily with two forks after six or seven hours. i'm sure if you left it longer it would be fine. drain the water out prior to pulling it apart. add your favorite bbq sauce (we enjoy the kraft original) to taste and let the pork cook for another hour or so. i've eaten the pork without letting it cook longer and it still tastes good, i just think it's better when you let all the flavors get to know each other.

i like to serve the pork on a regular hamburger bun and some coleslaw on the side. personally, i like the coleslaw in the bun because i enjoy the crunch (i also put potato chips in my sandwiches and fries in my burger. i loved living in europe because so many sandwich places did that).

okay, i will fix this post later and add more pictures. then you'll want to rush home and make this because it is simple and delicious.

summer wins, it always does

my summer mantra for the past two years has been: summer wins, it always does. originally i had directed it to my inability to avoid summer's greatest weapons--sunburn and mosquito bites. now i think i will add "reduced productivity". i found myself keeping up with recipes, one of (f)unemployment's little perks. i was never good at religiously blogging the day after. while i still strive to be the best cook i can be for my small following (myself and m), i want to use this space as a means of chronicling my "new adventure"--working as a VISTA for Americorps.

as i look back on my journals from study abroad and other travel experiences, i realize how little i can remember. re-reading these entries is almost like picking up someone else's journal. towards the end of my trip, when i scrambled to visit every favorite restaurant, each art museum and most beloved people watching bench, my journal entries resembled shopping lists more than detailed memories. it's times like that where i wish i was like dumbledore from harry potter. a pensieve to store strands of memories as i recall them at the time and can slip into when the need arises. perhaps if i visit the harry potter theme park i can purchase one...probably not. blogspot it is.

i feel like i'm breaking my new commitment to journaling already. i'm dashing off to a favorite cafe' in chicago one last time to read my book (The Elegance of the Hedgehog) and hopefully make use of the WiFi and catch up on some journaling.

in case i forget (which i might), here's my shopping list of topics to cover:
-post about the recipes i promised (pulled pork and pasta carbonara)
-my move from Chicago to Cleveland
-debrief about training in hotlanta! (i will spare the boring details of seminars and focus more on the people. i'm gonna talk a little trash, i won't lie...)