"would you watch my stuff for me"

i love being asked to watch someone's stuff. let me clarify: when i am in the library, coffee shop, or the like and the room is crowded, i love being singled out and asked, "would you watch my stuff?". i feel like i beat out so many other candidates--the girl reading a magazine, the older man on the conference call, the mother and child. this is my lottery winning feeling or how someone would feel if bob barker said "come on downnnnnn". it's then that i am granted with some great responsibility. yes. i will be the keeper of your things until you return from: going to the bathroom, getting more coffee, feeding the meter, picking your nose in the bathroom, etc.

i try not to take the request so literally. yes, i make sure to pay more attention to someone's belongings, but i don't sit there staring at them. i like to glance over every few seconds just to make sure everything is there. i don't know what i would do if another person tried to steal the "stuff" (computer, cell phone, notebooks, backpack). i've never really thought about my action plan. i hope i would say something like "hey! what are you doing?" and the thief would run away like a startled pigeon. but, to continue with the bird analogy, what if they were like a crow. what if they kept milling about and perusing through this person's notebook from accounting 203 and unhooking their macbook from the outlet?

let's hope it never happens. perhaps this isn't such an honor after all. now as i watch this young man's stuff (haha, that's what she said) i am filled with panic. please let no one else come near me in the library. where is this guy? what book could he possibly be looking for that is taking this long? phew. he has returned. i am no longer the keeper of the stuff.

oh, in case you were curious, i do not watch other people's stuff at the airport. i'm too terrified that i'll end up on "Locked Up: Abroad" and i'll be sitting there telling this reporter that i had no idea the duffle bag contained four kilos of cocaine and the remains of a well-known drug dealer. honestly, i had no idea.